Is Social Anxiety Holding You Back? Here's How to Take Your Power Back

Do you get nervous in social situations? Most of us do from time to time. But if that nervousness turns into dread — if even simple things like chatting with a cashier, going to the grocery store, or answering the phone feel overwhelming — you might be dealing with social anxiety.

Social anxiety goes beyond shyness or introversion. It can shape the way you move through your entire day, making it hard to feel at ease in your own skin. The good news? It’s possible to shift that. In this post, we’ll explore practical tools to help you feel more confident in social situations — and more connected to yourself.

What Social Anxiety Can Feel Like in Daily Life

Social anxiety isn’t always obvious, especially from the outside. You might look “put together” or even be high-functioning in your career or academics, but inside, it feels like you’re constantly second-guessing yourself and worried about how others perceive you.

Here are some of the ways it can show up:

• Relationships: You may avoid hanging out with others, feel awkward starting conversations, or fear being judged. This can lead to isolation or loneliness, even when you want connection.

• School: Participating in class or giving presentations might feel unbearable. You might procrastinate or experience performance anxiety that makes it hard to focus.

• Work: Maybe you stay quiet in meetings, struggle with networking, or avoid opportunities that would require you to be “seen” — which can impact your confidence and professional growth.

• Everyday tasks: Grocery shopping, calling to make appointments, or eating in public might trigger anxiety. You might avoid these tasks altogether or feel drained after doing them.

• Your inner world: Constant worry about how you come across can take a toll. You may feel self-critical, ashamed, or frustrated. Over time, social anxiety can start to chip away at your self-worth.

• Your overall well-being: When so much energy goes toward managing anxiety, it’s easy to feel like life is just about surviving — not thriving.

Small Steps That Can Help

Social anxiety can feel overwhelming, but change doesn’t have to happen all at once. Here are some tools that may help — start with one or two that resonate and build from there:

1. Challenge the Story in Your Head

Social anxiety often comes with unhelpful thoughts like, “I’m going to say something stupid,” or “Everyone’s judging me.” Cognitive behavioral techniques can help you recognize and question those thoughts. Try asking, “Is this thought really true?” and “What’s a more balanced way to see this?” You might be surprised at how often your inner critic isn’t telling the full story.

2. Practice Gradual Exposure

Avoidance can make anxiety grow stronger. Instead, take small, manageable steps that gently push your comfort zone. Start with low-stakes situations — saying hi to a neighbor or asking a barista how their day is going. Each step helps build confidence and trust in yourself.

3. Use Relaxation Skills to Settle Your Nervous System

When anxiety spikes, your body feels it. Breathwork (like the 4-7-8 method), progressive muscle relaxation, and mindfulness meditation can help calm your nervous system. Even just a few minutes a day can make a difference. Try noticing the sounds around you, the weight of your body on the chair, or the feeling of air moving in and out of your nose.

4. Build Social Muscles — One Interaction at a Time

Social skills can be practiced like any other skill. Making eye contact, offering a smile, or joining in on a casual group conversation may seem small, but these micro-moments of connection matter. Give yourself permission to be imperfect — growth happens through practice, not perfection.

5. Set Realistic, Compassionate Goals

If your goal is “become a social butterfly,” you might feel like you’re failing before you start. Try something more grounded, like “I’ll introduce myself to one new person this week.” And when you do? Celebrate that progress.

6. Prioritize the Basics

Your body and brain work together. Getting enough rest, moving your body regularly, eating balanced meals, and making space for joy all contribute to your capacity to manage stress. These basics aren’t always easy, but they’re foundational to long-term change.

7. Talk About It

You don’t have to go through this alone. Opening up to someone you trust — a friend, family member, or therapist — can help ease the pressure and remind you that your struggles make sense. Therapy, especially, can offer a safe space to explore where your anxiety comes from and how to shift your relationship to it over time.

You Deserve Support — Therapy for Social Anxiety in Brea, CA and Across California & Arizona

Social anxiety doesn’t have to run the show. If you’re ready to explore what’s possible, Anxiety Therapy can help you feel more grounded in your body, more connected in your relationships, and more confident in your everyday life.