Understanding Social Anxiety: What It Is, Why It Happens, and How to Find Relief
Most of us have felt some level of social anxiety at one point or another—whether it's nerves before a big presentation or uncertainty when meeting someone new. But for some, that anxiety isn’t just occasional or situational. It’s intense, persistent, and deeply tied to a fear of being judged or negatively evaluated. And it can make everyday moments feel overwhelming.
Social anxiety disorder, sometimes called social phobia, is more than shyness or occasional discomfort. It’s a pattern that can affect your relationships, career, self-esteem, and overall quality of life. If that resonates with you, know that you’re not alone—and that support is available.
In this blog, we’ll explore the roots of social anxiety, how it tends to show up, and the different ways to begin working through it—whether that’s through therapy, lifestyle shifts, or simply beginning to understand your experience in a new way.
What Causes Social Anxiety?
There’s no single cause of social anxiety. Like many emotional and mental health struggles, it’s shaped by a combination of genetics, environment, and learned beliefs. Here are a few contributing factors:
Family History
Social anxiety can run in families. If a parent or close relative struggles with anxiety or tends to model fear around social situations, it may increase your own sensitivity to those settings.
Environment and Early Experiences
Growing up in a home where criticism, pressure, or unpredictability were common can shape how safe it feels to be seen. Similarly, if you were often expected to perform, stay quiet, or not make waves, it makes sense that you’d learn to be extra aware of how others perceive you.
Core Beliefs and Self-Perception
Low self-esteem, perfectionism, or the belief that you must always say or do the “right” thing to be accepted can all reinforce social anxiety. The fear of being judged, embarrassed, or rejected often stems from these deeper inner narratives.
Common Symptoms of Social Anxiety
Social anxiety shows up differently for everyone, but here are some signs that often go hand-in-hand:
Physical Sensations:
Racing heart or shortness of breath
Shaky hands or voice
Nausea or upset stomach
Dizziness or lightheadedness
Emotional Experiences:
Fear of being perceived, judged, or rejected
Embarrassment or shame in social settings
Feeling like you never quite say the right thing
Behavioral Patterns:
Avoiding social situations, speaking up, or being the center of attention
Using alcohol or other substances to feel more comfortable socially
Over-preparing or rehearsing conversations in advance
What’s Happening in the Brain?
Understanding the biology behind social anxiety can be both validating and helpful. When you feel anxious, your brain isn’t “broken”—it’s doing what it thinks it needs to do to protect you.
The Amygdala: Often called the brain’s alarm system, the amygdala detects threats and signals your body to enter fight-or-flight mode. In social anxiety, this alarm may be overly sensitive to perceived judgment or rejection.
Prefrontal Cortex: This part of the brain helps regulate emotions and think logically. In social anxiety, it might struggle to calm the amygdala down once it’s activated because heightened, distressing emotions turn down our ability to think logically and rationally.
Neurotransmitters: Chemicals like serotonin and dopamine play a role in mood regulation and social behavior. Imbalances in these systems can contribute to anxiety symptoms.
This mix of heightened reactivity and reduced emotional regulation can make social situations feel unsafe—even when there’s no actual danger. Knowing that these reactions are biologically wired can help shift some of the self-blame that often comes with anxiety.
Treatment Options for Social Anxiety
If social anxiety is interfering with your life, the good news is: it’s treatable. You don’t have to navigate it alone, and you don’t have to live at the mercy of your anxiety.
Therapy
Therapy is one of the most effective tools for social anxiety. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is often used to help challenge anxious thoughts and shift behavioral patterns. Exposure-based therapy is another approach that gently and gradually helps you face the situations you fear—with support.
Somatic and relational therapy can also be incredibly helpful if your anxiety stems from early relational dynamics or a disconnect from your body’s cues. Therapy offers a space to build safety, increase self-trust, and practice showing up more fully as yourself.
Medication
In some cases, medications like SSRIs or anti-anxiety prescriptions can help regulate your nervous system so that therapy and lifestyle changes feel more accessible. If this is something you're considering, it’s important to talk to a provider who can guide you through the options.
Self-Support Practices
Small changes in your daily life can also support your nervous system:
Mindfulness or breathwork to ground yourself before or after social situations
Gentle movement or exercise to discharge anxious energy
Sleep, nutrition, and hydration to keep your baseline regulated
Journaling or self-reflection to untangle the beliefs that fuel your anxiety
Community & Support Groups
Sometimes, just knowing you’re not the only one can be healing. Support groups—whether online or in person—can offer connection, understanding, and shared strategies. You don’t have to explain everything from scratch, and you don’t have to hide your anxiety.
Begin Therapy for Social Anxiety in Brea, CA and Online Across California and Arizona
If you’re tired of feeling overwhelmed or held back by social anxiety, therapy can provide a safe place to explore possible solutions. I offer in-person therapy in Brea, CA and online therapy across California and Arizona, helping adults understand the roots of their anxiety and build a more grounded, confident way of relating to others.
Whether you’re navigating social anxiety or just want to feel more at ease being yourself, therapy can be a space to reconnect with your self-worth and make meaningful change.
Schedule your free consultation today!
Other Therapy Services Offered at Adaptive Resolutions Counseling
In addition to anxiety therapy, I also support clients with:
Life transitions and identity exploration
Self-esteem and confidence building
People-pleasing and boundary work
Relational patterns and attachment healing
All services are available virtually to clients across California and Arizona. If you’re ready to feel more empowered in your relationships and within yourself, I’d be honored to work with you. Learn more about me and my therapeutic approach before getting started.