Anxiety and the Stress of Not Knowing

When something feels unclear or unresolved, anxiety can get activated.

For many of us, it happens in that in-between space of not knowing what’s going to happen, how something will turn out, or when clarity will arrive.

Because when there’s no clear answer, the mind doesn’t simply wait. It replays conversations, reviews past moments, and looks for clues that might explain what’s coming next.

Even when you know there isn’t enough information to figure things out, letting the question stay open can feel uncomfortable so the mind begins to fill in the space, which can feel helpful temporarily but really energy consuming and exhausting.

In this blog, we’ll explore the link between uncertainty and anxiety and reflect on helpful ways to settle even when things feel uncertain.

Why Not Knowing Feels So Hard

For many people, uncertainty feels unsettling because it leaves a lot of space to think about all that could go wrong. In this way, anticipating outcomes can be a way to stay ready and protect yourself from being caught off guard. And often times, staying mentally busy can feel easier than sitting with uncertainty and the deeper feelings beneath it.

It's common for people to get stuck replaying the same situation in their minds. You might find yourself imagining what someone could say, how things could happen, or worrying about what it would mean if things didn’t go well. These thoughts and the energy it consumes can add another layer of distress to our experience of uncertainty.

When Uncertainty Feels Familiar

For some people, not knowing feels especially heavy because it stirs up old memories. If you’ve lived through situations where things changed quickly and being unprepared had real consequences, you might have learned that paying attention matters — to people’s moods, availability, or follow-through.

In those situations, thinking ahead wasn’t anxiety. It was a way of surviving. You learned to watch closely and imagine what might happen so you wouldn’t be surprised.

When uncertainty shows up later in life, the same hypervigilant response can kick in. The current situation doesn’t have to look like the past. What matters is that something important feels unresolved and there’s no clear signal about what’s coming next, so the mind falls back on what it learned to do before: stay one step ahead.

What Anxiety Is Trying to Do

Anxiety during uncertain times isn’t random or just a reaction to stress. It stems from our desire to be prepared. When we don’t know what might happen, our minds start to imagine all sorts of outcomes, often focusing on the negative ones.

This way, we can feel more ready and like we’re taking steps to protect ourselves. However, the downside is that we end up focusing more on potential threats rather than what’s happening right now. This can be exhausting over time.

Our minds stay alert, waiting for a sense of certainty that may never arrive. Instead of seeking constant reassurance, it can be more helpful to simply notice when this pattern is taking hold. It’s not about forcing it to change, but rather understanding what your mind is trying to avoid.

Living With Not Knowing

Understanding why anxiety shows up doesn’t make uncertainty go away. The mind may still try to anticipate outcomes. What can change is how closely you take those thoughts to be true.

When you can see anticipation as a response to not knowing, rather than something personal or wrong with you, it becomes easier to step back from it. You may notice when your attention has moved ahead of your life and how much energy and space that takes.

What can help isn’t finding certainty, but recognizing when you’re living in the future instead of the present — and noticing what’s beneath the anxiety. The uncertainty may still be there, but it no longer has to come with constant tension. And for many people, that shift alone can make anxiety feel more manageable during periods of not knowing.

If You Live With Anxiety and Uncertainty

If you tend to experience high anxiety during periods of uncertainty, therapy can be a place to slow this pattern down and work with it, rather than staying caught inside it.

The work isn’t about getting rid of uncertainty or forcing answers. It’s about understanding how your mind responds when things feel unresolved, and learning how to step out of constant anticipation so anxiety doesn’t run the show. Over time, that can create more steadiness, clarity, and space — even when life still feels unsettled.

If you want to learn more about how I work with anxiety, I’d love to chat! Reach out to schedule a free consultation to get started.